


The Night That Never Happened

by coplins



Series: Twisted Mirror'Verse [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Lawyers, Bottom Lucifer, Dean isn't, Drunk Sex, Drunken Kissing, Drunkenness, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Friends With Benefits, Frottage, Implied Lucifer/Sam Winchester, Insecure Lucifer, Lucifer & Charlie Bradbury friendship, Lucifer & Dean Winchester Friendship, Lucifer and Sam are lawyers, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not that that's relevant here..., Off-screen Relationship(s), Open Relationships, Or at least that's what Lucifer thinks when this takes place, Out of Character, Queerplatonic Relationships, Recreational Drug Use, Spoilers for Main Story, Swearing, Top Dean, Unrequited Lucifer/Sam Winchester, mentions of past Lucifer/Charlie, queerplatonic Lucifer/Charlie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-19 02:01:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4728566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coplins/pseuds/coplins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just like love can happen at first meeting, so can friendship. Lucifer (36) and Dean (36) is the proof of that. Luci may have lied about his name and pretends he's never met Dean's brother (God knows what would happen if Dean found out Luci is the opposing counsel in Sam's latest case), but apart from that Dean is the first person since Charlie he feels totally comfortable with. Dean fills the void Charlie left when she went off backpacking around the world a couple of years ago. Yes. Luci and Dean can be themselves in each others' company. Maybe the world would be a better place if they couldn't, but that's another story. </p><p>Going out barhopping with Dean again seemed like a somewhat good idea. Now, six, or seven(?) bars later everything Dean suggests seems like a great idea!</p><p>READ NOTES BEFORE READING! (If you have pairing-related squicks)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Night That Never Happened

**Author's Note:**

> This story CONTAINS SPOILERS for Six Degrees of Separation but can be read as a stand alone.
> 
> The characters possibly may appear wildly OOC if this is read as a stand alone. If read as a part of the main story hopefully they're only slightly out of character since much more is explained.
> 
> This is **vehemently denied taking place** between chapter 10 and 11. I _had_ to write it, the missing hours. But because Dean is being such a **major** asshole towards Sam (exactly how major you won't know if you only read this) and because for many sex outside of their otp-pairing is a squick (Destiel and Samifer), especially once a relationship is established (Destiel), I put it outside of the original story. Also, Charlie trying out sex with a man is a squick for some. It's mentioned, be warned.
> 
> **If anything of this hits home for you, don't read it. Then you go ahead and know that _this night never happened_. That's what Lucifer and Dean says if you ask them. They wouldn't lie to you, now would they? Of course not. Two morally upstanding citizens like they are would never. This is just something the deranged writer hallucinated. Right? Right.**
> 
> **In fact, you shouldn't read this at all. It never happened. It says so in the title doesn't it? Dean swears the pictures on his phone are photomanips anyways... And Luci says the sand in his bed/shower/floor/fucking everywhere is something Mikey dragged in. Dogs, huh? Makes a mess but you gotta love them.**
> 
> **^^'**

* * *

# The Night That Never Happened

* * *

The music in this place is blasting so loud you can barely talk. Luci’s fine with that. He’s drunk and happy and Dean is half leaning against his side, one arm slung either good-naturedly or proprietarily over his shoulder. He’s not sure which but he is fine with both. If it didn’t feel so good he’d think himself pathetic due to how affection-starved he is. But instead he just leans into the touch more, supporting himself on the bardisk. When they came in here, giggling and leaning heavily on each other, somebody had yelled “Fucking fairies!” at them. Instead of being pissed off Dean had laughed and told the bartender “You heard the man, apparently we’re fairies. Give us the gayest drinks you’ve got!” So now they are nursing the most beautiful rainbow cocktails―decorated with fruits and glittery stuff―that Luci’s ever had. Frankly, they taste disgusting. But who really cares when you’re as drunk as they are now?

“Let’s dance!” Dean yells straight into his ear, his breath causing shivers to run down Luci’s spine. Well, who’s he to complain about anything that feels good? 

Luci turns his head, laying his cheek to Dean’s to guarantee being heard, and shouts “M’ not really a dancer!”

“Who cares? C’mon, you’ll be my chaperon!”

Okay. He’s done that hundreds of times for Charlie during their college years. She’d drag him along to parties and make him dance with her to perturb men from approaching. Then she’d abandon him for some pretty girl later on. Not that he minds. He supposes he’s obliged to keep Dean from abandoning him to pick someone up, he’s got Cas after all. Though to be honest, at this level of intoxication Luci’s more likely to stop him from going with someone else out of sheer neediness rather than any type of bro-honour.

Dean grabs his hand and hauls him off towards the crowded dance floor, abandoning their drinks. Luci stumbles after him obediently. Everything is fuzzy and warm inside of him. His thoughts are a jumbled mess, but a content mess. Just like last time Dean took him out he’s happy and all troubled thoughts and worries are wiped away. Only here and now is relevant at the moment.

There’s a lot of people on the dance floor. The bass is thrumming from the floor through his body and he begins to move unselfconsciously to the incessant beat, unbothered by people jostling or bumping into him. Dean is letting loose too. He’s fucking beautiful, rolling his hips and grinning, eyes closed to the world. He’s got nothing on Sam of course. But Sam isn’t here, Dean is, and right now it’s ' _out of sight - out of mind_ ' working it’s magic on Luci. He’s grinning as hard as Dean is, just watching the other man while they dance. That is, until some broad sidles up to Dean behind his back and slides her hands over his hips as she rolls her hips against him in a sexy way. Dean opens his eyes and his smile diminishes as he glances over his shoulder, but he doesn’t stop dancing or try shake her off.

No.

Luci is not on board with that. Misguided jealousy and possessiveness flare in his chest and gut. This is _his_ Dean-time. Whether Dean knows it or not, this is a time-limited friendship. He does not want to share Dean with anyone when he knows Dean will dump him when his lies are uncovered. He scowls, reaches out and tugs Dean closer to him by his shirt and bats one of the woman’s hands away, the other one falling away by itself when Dean slips out of her grasp. “Fuck off!” Luci yells at the woman. Not that she can hear him over the loudness of the music, but his angry scowl and lip movements convey the message clear enough. She gives him a scandalized look before turning and disappearing in the crowd.

He turns his head to look at Dean who’s grinning like the cat with the cream, absolutely delighted by his possessive behaviour. Luci shrugs an apology and grins in response. He does that a lot with Dean. Smiles, laughs, and grins like a madman. His cheeks ache from the unfamiliarity of the expression. He lets go of Dean’s shirt to allow him to step back again. To his surprise, Dean steps closer instead, slotting a leg between his, puts one arm around his neck and rests the other loosely on his hip, closing his eyes and bending his head down while he never stops moving to the music.

Fuck, that feels good.

It feels familiar too. Yet again, it’s what Charlie so often did. She’d ride his leg on the dance floor like some horny slut (well she _was_. But not for men). Then she’d tease the hell out of him when it caused him to pop a boner. That’s okay. It kept guys away from her until she’d located her intended target for the evening. That’s what friends are for, right? He’d been embarrassed at first, but after a while that became the norm. She would tease him and he would joke about it and they'd have a laugh about his arousal all the while he'd just relax and let himself enjoy it. Charlie had dictated the norm for what a perfect friendship is. Not hard to do when she was his only true friend. Then Dean “adopted” him and he was so like her in his ways that Luci never thought to consider the differences. 

Luci holds on to Dean’s hips to help keep the rhythm. The air is humid and hot, sweat makes their skin slick and makes their shirts and hair cling to them. Luci’s loving it. Pleasantly buzzed, Dean's forearm rubbing slick against the skin of his neck causing sweat to run down between his shoulder blades, the rolling motion of Dean’s hips giving friction that lights up his body from within. He bends his head angling it slightly so he can watch his friend. Dean angles his own head slightly inward in response to the movement. This makes their breath bounce against their chests and mingle. Dean’s perfect teeth catches the colourful flashes of light and glows.

He’s gorgeous. 

The fuck does one of ‘the Beautiful People’ want with him anyway? Dean never asked for any favours, never gunned for his money. In fact, _Dean_ had been the one paying the whole evening. 

Not that Lucifer would admit it to himself, but he's always been vulnerable to people who shows kindness towards him without seeming to have ulterior motives. Even more so if they acted protectively like Dean had last time they went out drinking together. Not so strange perhaps, considering how seldom he's experienced it in his life. His feelings towards Dean may be purely platonic for the most part, but here and now his body is taking the reins―adding _gorgeous_ and _grinding_ to equal _arousal_ and _want_. He feels himself getting hard. Jolts of pleasure tickles him with every move. 

Dean feels it too. How can he not? Luci is decently sized and rhythmically pressed against him. Luci isn’t trying to seek more friction though. He’s content to enjoy what he gets from the off limited tease. He has no inclination to stop. Dean is in control of this. "I'm not a good chaperon!" he yells into Dean’s ear, barely audible despite the proximity. 

He feels rather than hears Dean laugh. Dean’s lips brush the shell of his ear, sending thrilling chills through his body. "You’re doin' fine by me!" As to accentuate the point he slides the hand resting on Luci’s hip around to grab his ass and push him closer, upper body going along with the movement until there isn't an inch to spare between them. 

Luci slings one arm around Dean’s neck and grabs his ass right back. "I think you've misunderstood the point of a chaperon!"

Not that he’s complaining. 

Fuck no. 

He's not really aware of the many people dancing around them in the darkness. The disco lights pulses in vibrant colours but don't give much light per se, adding to the feeling of being in an isolated bubble. He gives himself over to the heat, rutting against Dean, sliding his hand up under Dean’s T-shirt to feel the sweat slick skin and his muscles move. Dean’s getting hard too so he’s not alone in his arousal. He's pants harshly against Dean’s neck. 

Sober-Lucifer would have had a list a mile long as to why this is a bad idea. Even slightly buzzed he'd put a stop to this. Happy-drunk-over-his-ass-Lucifer however―not so much. He’s swept up in _Want!_ and _More!_ and _Yes!_

He feels Dean attach his lips to his neck and lick. Goosebumps forming all the way down his arms. "Fuck!" He turns his head and brushes his lips against the shell of Dean’s ear, the touch making Dean shiver. "This situation is gonna get sticky real fucking fast if we continue!" he yells jokingly. It’s true though. Alcohol may at times keep him from getting hard, but never impede his ability to come. 

Dean’s response is to grab his hips, digging his fingers in, and determinately rub their cocks together. Pressing hard. It’s verging on painful at the same time as Luci can feel the telltale tickling feeling at the base of his spine building, that means he's getting closer to his orgasm. It’s all he can do to cling to Dean and let him decide the pace and friction. 

Dean licks and kisses his way up his neck, nips at his jaw. Luci squeezes his eyes together. He’s supposed to be a friend. He doesn’t want this to stop but Dean might regret it tomorrow. He has Cas. Friends look out for each other, to a degree. Dry humping each other on a dance floor has _some_ deniability. If Dean regrets this, at this stage he can still tell himself that they were just dancing. Repeat the lie often enough to believe in it. Kissing is a hard limit and that's where they're heading. So Luci scrambles to get his few remaining brain cells that hasn't drowned in hard liquor to work. 

By the time Dean brush the corner of his lips with his own, Luci has managed to assert a very tenuous remnant of self control. He puts a hand between them on Dean’s chest, almost maybe an impression of a barely there push. "Dean! Cas?!" He’s not sure if Dean actually heard what he said, but at least he’d felt Luci form some sort of words.

Dean halts his advancement and stills, withdrawing his head just enough to be able to look Luci in the face. Luci regrets trying to stop him instantly. Being hammered and horny will do that to you. His dick’s handing in an outraged petition to his brain to resume previous activity, signed by every freedom-loving sperm his balls has produced. Dean’s eyes are alcohol glazed, but lucid. He isn’t grinning right now, but panting and looking quite seriously at Lucifer, searching for something. Apparently he finds it and steps away, grabbing Luci’s wrist and tugging him towards the exit. A petulant needy whine escapes Luci, thankfully not something that can be heard over the music.

The fresh air hits like a bucket of cold water once they make it outside. It’s not cold out, but the difference from the hot humid air on the dance floor inside makes Luci’s skin prickle. Dean tugs him over the boardwalk and doesn’t let go until he gets to the edge of the beach where he jumps down onto the sand, landing in an inelegant sprawl and bursting out laughing. Luci follows him down doing a marginally better landing. “Smooth,” he comments dryly and sniggers, offering Dean a hand up.

“Shut up. We’ve drunk about six bars dry tonight. Can’t expect a guy to be steady on his feet,” Dean grins and dusts himself off. He slings an arm around Luci’s shoulder for balance and leads them out on the sandy dunes, away from from the boulevard with all it’s bars and noise. The beach is deserted this time of night, painted white by the full moon, littered with shadows. The ocean’s black, each wave glistening in the moonlight. Soon the sounds of city nightlife fade and only the sound of the waves remain along with their drunken giggles as they stumble along, almost falling at times, barely catching themselves with support from the other. Luci has no idea where Dean’s leading them, nor does he care.

They’ve come to the part of the beach that isn’t commercially maintained. Big patches of dry grass grow scattered above the water line. Dean chooses one and drops down on it, Luci following his lead. “Dirty dancing wannabe, huh?” Luci says once they’ve finally settled.

Dean digs something out of his pocket and start fumbling with it while Luci looks out over the waves lapping the beach, a content smile on his face. “Yeah… sorry bout that,” Dean says.

“S’fine. S’okay,” Luci answers.

“No, it fuckin’ isn’t,” Dean answers and Luci turns his head to see what Dean’s doing. He’s rolling a fat joint with deft and practiced movements. “I got carried away an’ for a moment I forgot that a boner doesn’t equal consent. Shoun’t push you into somethin’ you don’ wanna do. I like you man. You an’ me, we connect, right? I know you feel it too. Jus’ fuckin’ clicked, right?” Dean slurs a bit on his speech. He raises an eyebrow and look to Luci for a confirming nod before he goes on. “But I know not everybody can take friendship that comes with benefits, right?” He puts the joint to his mouth and focus on trying to light it. A light breeze ruffles their hair and it takes three tries before he gets his lighter to ignite. He sucks a couple of puffs on the joint to make sure it’s burning before he puts the lighter away and coughs out a cloud of smoke. “I mean, I like you more than I wanna bone you. So I much rather keep you ‘s a friend than fuck it all up with sex, you know?”

Luci squints at him, trying to process. _He_ has no problem maintaining a platonic relationship even if sex got involved occasionally. That’s why Charlie had trusted him to be _her_ college experiment after she came home one day throwing a bitch fit over being every other girl’s experiment.

***

_”It’s not fair! Why can’t **I** get to do a little experimenting too?” she said, throwing her hands up in exasperation then doing that cute little pout of hers._

_"You can. Just go out and pick someone. You’re gorgeous, vibrant, and quirky. You could get any guy to sleep with you,” Luci answered without looking away from the TV._

_”No I can’t.” She sat down on the couch beside him, arms petulantly crossed. “They’d have expectations. They could get cross if I suddenly opted out. Or worse, go on even if I said stop in the middle of it. Or I’d wound their pride if I laughed at their dick because dicks look ridiculous. I just wanna tick off ‘college experimenting’ of the bucket list. Every other girl gets to do that.”_

_Luci rolled his eyes. “Yes, well. If you need me, you know where to find me,” he said dryly. She fell quiet and stared at him like the idea hadn’t even crossed her mind._

_”You mean that?”_

_”Sure. Why not. What’s mine is yours. We may as well extend that to my body.”_

***

In hindsight it was really good they’d done it that way. It would have been an experience that would have fucked another guy up for life. The absolute trust and no expectations whatsoever proved necessary. It had nothing to do with seeking pleasure and everything to do with scientific curiosity from Charlie’s side, and the both of them had basically laughed their ass off the whole time. And just like Dean, Luci let Charlie be in control the whole time. _Unlike_ Dean Charlie didn’t get turned on along with Luci. She got wet from the touching by all means, but her brain never switched on the sex-button.

Luci shakes his head to clear it. “I can do benefits, no problem,” he tells Dean. “Believe me, _consent_ isn’t an issue here.”

Dean looks surprised. “Oh yeah?”

“Yes. You said you love Cas more than life itself. As a friend it’s my duty to warn you not to do something you’ll regret before seeking my own pleasure. I don’t know Cas so I feel no obligation towards him until I do. Fuck do I care ‘bout a stranger? But you’s ‘nother matter. I really didn’t want to stop… just...” Luci trails off as Dean’s expression turns hungry. Dean definitely has his sex-button switched on. The look on his face is enough for Luci’s cock to stir with interest again.

“Really? Then don’t worry about it.” Dean smirks and fills his mouth with smoke, before leaning over, gesturing for Luci to do the same. Luci does without second thought. Dean’s lips are dry and soft. Luci opens his mouth and inhales, accepting the smoke Dean blows into his mouth. Dean’s tongue dart out to lick briefly on his lower lip, nipping lightly before leaning back away again, leaving the taste of alcohol and weed. Luci holds his breath and closes his eyes, feeling the drug take a hold and seep through his veins, turning his limbs heavy and his head light. The need to cough gets too great and he exhales, coughing at the end of it. He hasn’t done this for many, _many_ years. It’s not something you do on your own, not to him at least. The days when he could smoke a whole joint and then wander straight into class to ace an exam are long gone.

His eyes remain closed and he drifts. It’s hard to tell for how long, before he feels a hand travel upward on the inside of his thigh then pressing against his crotch. He presses into the touch and fucking giggles. Yeah. The joys of getting stoned. Life is great and everything is funny. “Ts not your first time, is it?” Dean’s lips brush the skin beside his eye, he feels the man smile.

“No,” he grins in response and opens his eyes. Dean’s face is right in front of his, lazy relaxed smile and heavy eyelids. “You’re fucking beautiful, Dean. What do you want with me?”

“Right now? I want to kiss you. And I want to suck you off so badly I’m gaggin’ for it,” Dean says breezily. They blink at each other for a moment before breaking down in giggles. Luci grabs a hold of Dean’s neck before Dean’s collected himself and pulls him in for a kiss. Soft warm lips, wet tongue, nipping teeth, a hand massaging his stiff cock, another one questing under his T-shirt. Exactly how they go from stupid giggling to full on making out is a bit blurry in his drug addled brain. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. It’s fucking perfect, mellow and needy at the same time, hungry and indulgent. The world has narrowed down to them alone. Only some Pink Floyd playing in the background could have made it better. Goosebumps and shivers, heated skin and dry grass pricking his naked back once shirts get discarded. The salty taste of Dean’s skin against his tongue. It’s been too fucking long.

Dean sucks dick like a pro. He’s greedy, needy, and hungry for it. Clearly he loves it big time. Has Luci arching his back and tearing at the grass, whining, moaning, panting. Luci is too far gone to warn him when the orgasm hits. Dean’s moaning around his cock when he does, swallowing every drop and milking him for more, like it’s the best thing in the world. He clambers on top of Luci when he can’t get any more out. Kisses him stupid. “You a top or a bottom, Nick?” he asks urgently, arousal spiked to the max.

“Switch,” Luci gets out between kisses.

“Can I fuck you? Please, please, please, can I fuck you?” Dean begs.

Like he could deny the man if he wanted to.

“You better prep me good first. I don’t like the burn.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll make it good. I’ll make it real fucking good for ya,” Dean nods eagerly and pulls out a packet of lube out of his pocket. He divests himself of jeans, shoes and socks and does the same with Lucifer’s pants that has been caught around his ankles. He lubes his fingers up and proceeds to circle Luci’s hole gently, until it gives way all by itself to let a finger slip in. All the while he kisses Luci greedily, lap at his neck, nip at his shoulder and chest. It’s a bit of a contrast―heated hunger uptop, gentle patience down below. He doesn’t force the time it takes to stretch Luci and he curls his fingers to hit the good spot ever so often. “Will you ride me?” Dean asks when Luci’s ready.

“Hell no. You top, you do the work, I top, I do the work,” he answers with a grin.

Dean throws his head back and laughs. His eyes glitter with carefree joy when he looks back at Luci. “I can deal with that,” he grins back. He kisses Luci again when he lines himself up and slowly, slowly pushes in. Waiting for Luci’s relaxation for each inch. The burn is minimal. 

Not until Luci demands for him to fucking _move_ does he do so. It doesn’t take long for Luci’s arousal to spike again and he’s moving in a counter rhythm, kissing and nipping, pinching Dean’s nipples (because he’s got really sensitive nipples and _fuck_ , he begged so prettily for more), grabbing his ass pulling him closer, and growling out demands (“Go faster. Fucking _hell_ , just like that!, Harder dammit, this ain't fucking Sunday school. Ohshitshit, fuck! Just like that, that’sthespotkeepgoing, YES! _gnnnn―_ ”). He comes a second time and Dean holds out just long enough to fuck him through it before releasing with a loud cry.

For a while they just lay panting, forehead to forehead until they’ve calmed down. Then Dean gives him three chaste, surprisingly tender kisses and rolls off him.

“I have sand everywhere,” Luci notes. The immediate effect of the weed has worn off and he’s sobered up slightly. The night temperature is just right not to feel the need to put clothes on.

“Totally worth it.”

“Definitely.”

“ _Shit_. I forgot to use a condom,” Dean exclaims after a couple of beats of comfortable silence.

Yeah. Luci had felt come leaking out of his ass so he knew that already. He couldn’t give a fuck. He’s clean. He’ll get himself tested again soon enough. But misguided as it is―the trust he has for Dean in every other aspect carries over to this too.

“Yes, well I forgot the existence of the rest of the world, so it evens it up,” Luci replies with a smirk and a content look on his face. That makes Dean relax at his side. Luci sits up and looks out over the dark ocean. “We weren’t exactly discreet. We could have gotten arrested.” They still can. But who cares? That’s a worry only if it actually happens.

Dean sits up next to him looking equally sated. “Lucky my brother’s a lawyer, huh?” he jokes and bumps Luci’s shoulder, making them erupt with laughter at the thought of Sammy’s reaction should he find out about this. No matter if Luci is right and Sam hates him, or Dean is right and Sam has a crush on him, Sam would be _pissed off_. They sit in silence for a while, still naked as the day they were born, sporting moronic smiles and looking at the occasional gull or the movement of a crab down by the edge of the water, the moon casting shadows making it appear huge. “You’re a great lay, Nick,” Dean says after a while.

Luci snorts a little laugh. “Thank you, Dean. So are you. I can’t be _that_ good though, I didn’t even reciprocate the mindblowing blow job you gave me.”

“Yeah, but truthfully, I’m not really that into being on the receiving end of one. Giving pleasure to whoever I’m with it’s what really gets me going... I dunno, man. Unless the one giving me a blowjob loves it as much as I do I don’t…” He frowns, searching for words. “Ts’ more like I tolerate it while waiting for what I really wanna do, you know?” He gives Luci an earnest look before continuing. “Now _you_ , you get totally into it. You just give yourself over shamelessly a 100% and that is fucking awesome. I’d say you make my top ten and I’ve fucked _a lot_ of people. I mean, _a lot_. When you said I’d have to do all the work if I topped I thought you’d just lay back and actually let me _do_ all the work. Not so much, huh? But, _fuck_. You’re one toppy bottom, you know that?” Dean grins and winks at him.

Luci gives him a self-satisfied smirk. "I don't prescribe to the idea that the top is dominant in any way."

"Yeah, no shit," Dean says and nudges his shoulder with his own playfully. "Anyone trying to dominate you that way has another thing coming." They giggle and fall quiet for a while. Then Dean sighs happily. "I'm happy I didn't meet you before I turned 30. I would have just tried to fuck you straight away, realised I liked you a helluva lot and fled in panic. I'd missed out on one awesome friend."

Lucifer laughs. "You did fuck me."

"True, but not until we'd become friends already. I'm not letting that go now," Dean responds with a chuckle. Luci wishes it was true. The moment Dean finds out he's not just 'Nick' but the notorious Lucifer Alighieri, he’d drop this friendship like if burned. There’s nothing Luci can do about it, it's just the way things are. He’s just going to make the most of it, enjoy it while it lasts. 

Luci looks over at Dean, studies his body now it’s laid bare and lit by the silvery moon spotlight. He sees bite marks, bruises, a couple of scratches that shouldn’t be there and frowns. "Fuck. I'm sorry. I left marks," Luci says chagrinned. That his own body bears the same kinds of momentums from their previous activity doesn’t matter. He’s single after all. "Didn't mean to. Don’t want to fuck things up between you and Cas."

Dean sniggers. "Don’t worry about it. Hell, if I'm lucky he'll punish me for it."

" _If you're lucky..._ " Luci arches an eyebrow imploringly.

"Yeah. Cas n’ me, our sexlife is, um, kinda… specialised you might say. And our relationship is open... ish."

"Open- _ish_?!"

"Yeah. There are rules. It's complicated. But don't worry. You’re pre-approved."

Lucifer barks an incredulous laugh. "Back the fuck up. I'm pre-approved? Explain yourself. I need to hear this. I can handle complicated."

"Alright, alright." Dean chuckles and rubs his neck self consciously. "Look. I love sex, right? I've got one hell of a sexdrive. Never been one for romances though. My idea of a perfect relationship before him would be someone you could hang out with, do all kinds of shit. Just be yourself, you know? You’d go out with them and get a high five if you pulled. But you could just as easily pause in the middle of a game of GTA and fuck their brains out, then go on playing without the need for any lovey-dovey crap. Sex would be just another activity you’d get up to if you felt like it. And it’s hard you know? Cuz people either get jealous at what you get up to without them and start demanding more, or they don’t give enough crap about you to begin with and just want sex. Only had one friend that ever fit into what I wanted except she’s a lesbian so sex goes right out the window. Until I met Cas the longest relationship I had lasted less than two months if you don't count fuck buddies, right? And honestly, most of my romantic ventures ended with me cheating. Some said I’m a sex addict who needs to be fixed. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with me. I thought I was, whatsit called? Aromantic? I dunno. Right. That was, until I met Cas and the world just exploded into that pink romantic shimmer I'd never experienced before. You know, from every chick-flick ever? And with him I want it all. Fucking holding hands, romantic dinners, all that sweet an’ couple-y shit I only did before because that’s how it’s supposed to be done. But I never _felt_ it before he came along."

"And yet, one day you cheated on him," Luci hedges with a teasing smirk. 

Dean chuckles humorlessly. "See? You get me. I didn’t mean to. But I was drunk and she was hot and persistent. Afterwards I freaked the fuck out. I was so afraid of losing Cas I wanted to throw up. Broke down and fessed up cuz I couldn't lie to him. Turns out he's not the jealous type. He differentiates between sex and emotions. He was still mad at me for losing control though. And he demanded that if I wanted to fuck others, so should he be allowed to. Equality, right? But here's the twist, _I’m_ jealous and possessive as fuck about him like I hadn’t been about anyone before."

Lucifer laughs. "So how did you solve it?"

"When I thought about it I came to the conclusion that I wasn't jealous of _everyone_. There are some who I'm fine with sharing Cas with. Hell, I even get turned on thinking about it with some. As long as they hit the right criteria. Basically, we agreed that whoever he is allowed to fuck, so am I. And I get to choose since he doesn’t really have the same drive as I do."

Lucifer squints at Dean. "So... basically you're saying you're okay with me fucking your boyfriend..?" 

Dean grins. "Basically, yeah. You wouldn't be up for a threesome, would you? Cuz that'd be hot!"

Lucifer sniggers and leans in for a stray kiss just because he can. He thinks about his brief encounter with Cas on the parking lot. He’s a handsome man. He sincerely doubts Cas would find him attractive enough to want a threesome though. "I think I could be convinced under the right circumstances," he says and steals yet another kiss before leaning away again. 

"Awesome," Dean purrs. 

"So what's the criteria I hit? You said it was complicated."

"Right. First off, Cas is 100 % gay, right? So no girls. I'm fine with that. I'm equally drawn to both, but I don't feel like I have to vary." Dean ticks it off on his fingers. "Secondly, I need to feel fine with sharing Cas with the guy and it limits the choices. See I need to have very strong feelings for the guy in question. I don't mean romantic feelings."

"Obviously," Luci agrees and thinks for a bit. "So you’re like a horse comfortable to share grazing grounds with its herd," he concludes.

Dean laughs and socks him hard on the shoulder. "I'm no goddam horse!" he protests. 

"Really? You look like a real stud to me," Luci jokes, wiggling his eyebrows, making Dean laugh again. 

"Ooo. That’s lame," he says, still laughing. 

"Like a wolf then. Sharing with its pack," Lucifer amends.

"Yeah! Yeah, that's a good comparison. I mean, I'd share Cas with Sam in a heartbeat even if I don't want to touch my brother that way. But apart from that it needs to be a guy who I'm attracted to, that isn't straight, and that I consider as a part of the family. But not through blood. You catch my drift? Plus I need to get a green light from Cas."

That warms Luci’s heart more than he cares to admit. "So how do you keep from losing control like you did the first time?"

"That's easy. If I start getting riled up, I imagine them kissing Cas. A sudden urge to break someone's nose is quite a turn off," Dean answers with a cheeky wink. 

"That's practical."

"Yeah. ...so you don't think this is weird? My and Cas' relationship?"

Lucifer shrugs. "No. I can’t say that I do."

"Huh. People usually reacts differently if I tell em. Says I can't really love Cas, or that we must be going through a rough patch for me to want to fuck others too."

Luci scoffs. "Love doesn't equal monogamy. Nor is romantic attraction the only thing that can spark arousal. Just because it doesn't follow the norm doesn't mean it doesn't work."

Dean gives him a lopsided smile. "You ever been in love?" he asks.

"Twice. I think."

"You _think_?"

"Too early to tell if it’s just infatuation. But honestly I think I’m in love. He just blew my mind at first sight, and it gets worse every time I see him. I'm totally gone on him. He’s one of the beautiful people though. Way out of my league," Luci sighs miserably and lays back on the grass. Staring up at the starry sky and thinking about Sam.

"I bet he thinks you're out of his league too," Dean says with a knowing smirk that Lucifer can't see.

"Pfft. What makes you think that?"

"Smart, rich, powerful. I bet he can’t imagine someone like you would want some jumped up trailer trash like him."

"Then he’s just plain dumb."

"Yeah... I keep telling him that."

" _What_?"

"Nothing. Hey, you up for a round two?"

Lucifer sniggers, tugs Dean down and rolls on top of him as a way of response... “My turn to top,” he says, soaking in Dean’s laughter. Of course he's up for a round two. And later, after another hit on the joint, a round three. For tonight at least he forgets for a moment about his secret, painful, heartbreaking crush on Dean’s brother...

* * *

In the future, this night would forever be referred to as "the night that never happened". In fact, it wasn’t referred to at all. Not because any of the two participants regretted it, but because they didn't. Whether it happened again, or if they did have a threesome with Cas or not, remains unknown or is a story for another time. But let it be known that Lucifer never once cheated on Sam with anyone. Not when they finally got together. Lucifer's heart truly and wholly belonged to Sam. And Dean didn’t offer any benefits to his brother’s boyfriend. (He’s a good brother like that.) But during the five times Sam broke up with Luci? Well, he might have. (He’s a shitty brother like that.) In his defense, he always played a part in reuniting them again. (He's a meddlesome brother like that.) And it's a good thing, because Sam's heart always, truly and wholly belonged to Lucifer.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> To clear up possible confusion--Dean knows full well that "Nick" is Lucifer, but Lucifer doesn't know that. Dean has talked about his brother's crush on Lucifer with "Nick", but Luci doesn't believe it. Which makes Dean a fucking asshole of major proportions towards Sam. He does play an equally major part in getting them together in the first place so I guess he can be forgiven...


End file.
